China Doll
by Liliumscribe
Summary: Romance blossoms for Ezra but trouble looms in the horizon. Chapter 9 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Title: China Doll

Name: Liliumscribe/Easter Lily

Genre: Pre-Romance, Old West (Magnificent Seven)

Rating: G (Angst)

Disclaimer: The China Doll is my invention, the rest belongs to MGM.

Summary: Four Corners claims a new resident, one with no memory of the past. Ezra- centered.

He remembered with clarity the day they found her. A mere matter of chance brought them her way. On their way back from an errand of mercy, when Vin's keen eyes caught a glimpse of the body. A seemingly limp, lifeless body, had been brutally battered and broken. Only a faint hint of a pulse gave any indication that she was still alive. Barely. How she survived the mass of injuries was anybody's guess. _A miracle of biblical proportions_, Josiah had said, and _a powerful will to live_. Her long, black locks disheveled, falling over her face like a Venetian blind, concealing the multitude of blood stains that had marked what might have been a lovely face. Her clothing, evidently Chinese in the _qipao _style, showed her to be a person of some means. Though bloodstained, there had not been as much wear and tear as expected. It was difficult to ascertain how long she had lain in that place and clearly, her assailant or assailants had long taken flight. He didn't remember why but the task of lifting her from the wreckage had fallen to him. Still, as he surveyed the situation, he hesitated… fearful that his own strength, would be this fragile creature's final undoing. In the entire journey home, he felt grave responsibility and pity for this creature… grasping onto what little of life she had left... Like a broken porcelain doll which had seen better days.

For the longest time, she was a mystery… an enigma… no memory of what she was and yet slowly but surely she found her way into their hearts… and his. He couldn't recall the moment or the place of the final _coup de grace_. But there was no doubt in his life would be forever changed by it.

That there was something of Li Pong about her may have started it all. She was petite and slender but unlike Li Pong, she moved with quiet agility and confidence when she finally managed to recover the use of her extremities. Still, her fine oriental features did not yield any clues as to what she might have been. Her child-like curiosity regarding her new environment was enchanting but it was her knowledge of the world beyond Four Corners which fascinated and astounded everyone.

In the beginning no one knew if she would survive Nathan's determined but gentle ministrations and by the time she emerged from her comatose state, everyone's inquisitiveness about this angelic stranger had reached its peak. There was some speculation in those early days that she had been the victim of a kidnapping among railroad workers but no one apparently had any knowledge of such activity or of anyone fitting her description.

The Seven and several townsfolk took turns in keeping a bedside vigil under Nathan's watchful eye. They couldn't be sure if her life was in immediate danger but no one was taking any chances. The waiting had been difficult. For a time, it seemed like she was Perrault's slumbering beauty condemned to remain in a deep, eternal repose until found by her prince. Nonetheless she did awake, unaided, and soon became something of a local curiosity… a celebrity in so much as anyone in this dusty backwater could be …

She seemed content to remain an unknown quantity, quietly going about town and mingling with its residents and undertaking what little distractions Four Corners afforded her. There were the smattering of clues of what she might have been: her skill with chess, her intermittent fascination with games of chance, as well as her demonstration of more than a passing interest in the arts. There was much speculation that this china doll was a woman of education but none could explain why she was left for dead in the middle of nowhere, when she would evidently be more comfortable in San Francisco or New York. But the subject, herself, seemed indifferent to all this, with no apparent interest in her own identity.

"Don'tcha wanna know who you are?" Casey had asked her once.

"Sometimes I think about it… But most of the time, I'm just happy to be alive. Maybe there is a reason why I forget. Maybe it is good that I forget." She had said thoughtfully.

Equally surprising was that no one else laid claim to her. It was as if she never existed before the Seven found her on that fateful day, lying in the dusty plains outside Four Corners. There didn't appear to be a family or employer in the wings, someone who could account for her presence in this part of the world. Still, it was clear that someone had wanted her dead.

His interest in her began as mere curiosity. She wasn't especially beautiful… at least no more so than many of his dalliances. But on the occasion he caught a glimpse of something in her eyes that informed of an inner intensity struggling to break free. What wise man once said about the eyes being the window to the soul? If this were so, the soul that he saw was vital and sorrowful.

He found her one night outside the saloon… staring in the night sky, apparently oblivious to her surroundings. She was muttering something under her breath… something incomprehensible to him. Babbling almost… It dawned on him some moments later that she was speaking Chinese but she spoke English so fluently that it was easy to forget. Nevertheless she looked like she was in trance, her eyes having a faraway look. When she failed to acknowledge his presence, he grew concerned, thinking that she might have had an attack of apoplexy.

"Are you alright, my dear?"

Startled out of her reverie, her eyes registered a moment of confusion. Her pale, expressionless face had an eerie look in the moonlight.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I didn't mean to frighten you." He said worriedly.

"Frighten? Oh no, Mr Ezra… I was just thinking and trying to remember." She reassured him.

"What were you thinking about?" He inquired.

"I don't know… home, I think."

"You remember what your home is like?"

"I don't know… Sometimes, I see a place and people in it but I don't know what that means."

"It must be difficult, not knowing…"

"No, not difficult… just lonely."

Being lonely… now that was something Ezra Standish knew something about. A lonely, nomadic childhood passing through the homes of a string of relatives. Then in adulthood, living from one con to the next didn't leave much room for friendship or love. The façade of the witty, extravagant gambler belied the reality of a lonely wanderer, who until recently, was doomed to a life of distrust from his fellow men. Undoubtedly, the transient lifestyle he had previously led had its benefits: the promise of a new challenge with each new day, the chance to put one's abilities to the test and to be the top of one's profession. But the life of a confidence man came at a high price. It meant a life of loneliness, no time to put down roots. The great irony of his illustrious career was that those same benefits of his former life, were also to be had in law enforcement although, of course, Ezra thought wryly, the monetary returns were rather more scant.

Against all his years of training in the skilful manipulation of others, he allowed himself to empathize with the lost soul that sat next to him. No one so delicate should have to live life uncherished and unprotected, wandering without companionship.

In the dead of night, it was only too easy to let one's thoughts go and luckily for him, she eventually broke his train of thought.

"_Chuang qian ming yue guang_

_Yi shi di shang shuang_

_Ju tou wang ming yue_

_Di tou si gu xiang"_

"What's that, my dear?"

"A poem… about someone who cannot sleep and is thinking of home."

"Do you miss home?"

"I don't know if it's possible to miss something I can't remember… But I must have one… somewhere… The only thing is… I would like know if there is someone who is thinking of me…"

"I can't imagine that there wouldn't be…"

She smiled and then added, "If there is… I hope he's as kind as you are."

Ezra could feel the danger… the danger that his pity for her could turn into something else… and he wasn't sure if wanted "something else". Especially with this melancholic enigma who could be Medusa in disguise. He was a man accustomed to trouble but trouble of his own making.

From that moment onwards, he took care never to be alone with her.

Notes: The poem "Thoughts on a Silent Night" was composed by the great Chinese poet Li Bai (701-762 AD) who lived during the Tang Dynasty.

_The radiant moonlight falls to the front of my bed_

_It looks like frost on the ground_

_I raise my head toward the bright light of the moon_

_Then lower it with thoughts of home_


	2. Chapter 2

Title: China Doll

Chapter 2

From appearances alone, it was just an ordinary day. An ordinarily hot and dusty day. The stagecoach rolled into town bringing with it the usual assortment of travellers. Ezra Standish, having his usual morning coffee outside the jailhouse deck, espied each one as they filed out of the coach, probably relieved that they had arrived, life and limb intact and more than ready for some kind refreshment. He noted the well-dressed men, and surmised that they were stopping over as part of an extensive journey. The gambler in him also wondered if any might be up for a poker game or two later at the saloon… a much needed distraction from recent happenings.

While it hadn't been difficult to avoid the town's latest addition, he still found himself thinking a little too much about her for comfort. He placated his conscience by telling himself that sharing a moonlit night with a beautiful woman was bound to have an effect especially in a place where there was a dearth in female companionship. Still, these days, she was occupying the better part of her day with a job at the local restaurant or roaming the outskirts with JD and Casey.

This morning, JD looked like he was in something of a hurry and almost collided into him, while scurrying past.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry, Mr Dunne?" Ezra ventured, barely holding on to his coffee.

"Oh hi, Ezra… sorry… Casey and I are off to have Tai Chi lessons with Lin."

"Lin?" Ezra said quizzically.

"That's the Chinese lady… says it means "spirit" or something… We're having Tai Chi lessons."

"Tai… what?"

"Tai Chi. She says it's some kind of Chinese exercise. Clears the mind and keeps the body healthy. It's something special to look at. Anyways, I gotta go, I'm late."

In spite of himself, Ezra's curiosity was aroused. _This, I have to see_.

Following JD down the main street and out behind Nathan's clinic, he saw with great interest the fluid movements executed by the China Doll, who was apparently oblivious to everything around her. Like Wordsworth's daffodils, she was a dancer moving in tandem with the natural rhythms of Mother Nature, in utter synchronicity.

Mesmerized by the sheer beauty of the gentle arm and hand movements, Ezra was transfixed and deeply moved by the spectacle he was witness to. He had never seen a more perfect example of self-control and harmony between body and mind. It wasn't just the routine itself that was "something special" but the woman herself. Whoever she was or had been, she was someone who had embraced life to the full.

The enthusiastic applause which followed the end the routine, brought him back down to earth. It reminded him that he was an uninvited caller.

"So what did you think, Mr Ezra," All attention was now on him.

"I did not mean to intrude."

"You didn't. You're quite welcome here. Anytime."

"Wasn't that somethin', Ezra?" Casey commented enthusiastically.

"Yes, it was… quite something… What is it?"

"_Taiqiquan_. A Chinese fighting style a few hundred years old."

"Fighting? It looked more like a dance to me…"

"The emphasis is on relaxing the muscles for flexibility rather than tightening the muscles. Many Chinese people practice it as their daily exercise."

"It's quite extraordinary. But amongst pugilists in the usual manner of combat, speed is of the essence."

She nodded matter-of-factly and took strides towards him. For the first time since he had become acquainted with her, he saw her smile. The effect of which lit up her face and he perceived that those oft sad eyes were capable of humour.

In a blink of an eye, with a series of movements that caught him unawares, she flung aside his arms effortlessly tand managed to take possession of both his pistols and then proceeded to brandish them in his direction. In short, she had disarmed him without his realizing it.

"Fast enough for you, Mr Ezra?" She was grinning impishly.

"Very impressive." He commented wryly. Secretly he was impressed.

He couldn't resist meeting her gaze and saw laughter in her eyes. There was definitely nothing simple about this one. Was she egging him on? No doubt, she was teasing him.

JD and Casey, on the other hand, were suitably impressed. "I've never seen nothing like this." JD remarked.

Neither had Ezra but he was feeling a tad exposed

"As a gentleman never hits a lady, Miss Lin, it is not my desire to engage in combat with you over my weapons. But I would be very much obliged to you if you could effect their return at your earliest convenience."

"But are you sure that I'm a lady?" she challenged, with a twinkle in her eye.

Without waiting for a reply, she returned the pistols to their respective holsters just as swiftly as she had removed them. This invited a shout of laughter from the onlookers.

As a force of habit, Ezra dusted his sleeves. This woman, despite his best efforts, was getting under his skin.

"Where did you learn to do this?" He inquired.

"In my village somewhere in China when I was a child. From an elderly man."

"Have you regained your memory?"

"I can see brief periods of my childhood… but nothing more recent…" Her voice losing its cheerful undertones.

"I'm sure they'll come to you soon… Ezra smiled reassuringly. "After all, you don't seem to have trouble remembering other things…"

"I've had dreams of people and places that seem familiar… but I don't know how they fit together. It is like my mind is in pieces and I need to find a way to put them together again."

"Give yourself time…"

"Honestly… I don't know if I want to remember. What if I've done some terrible things… killed someone…" Her voice rang out in desperation.

"From the way we found you, it's more likely someone tried to kill you…"

"Why…

"Men have killed for all kinds of reasons or no reason at all. Besides, I cannot imagine you doing anything unforgivably terrible."

"You are kind." She smiled sadly. "But you cannot be sure… no one can…"

"Trust me, I know… _I have_ done some terrible things… I've lied, cheated, hurt people and killed. I'm a scoundrel and as they say, it takes one to know one. If you've done anything terrible, I'm sure you've had good reason to. Everyone has done things they regret doing."

So engaged in their conversation, that neither had remembered the presence of others. JD and Casey stood as silent witnesses before nudging each other and then quietly making their way out of the alley. With each passing moment, they felt increasingly like intruders in some private assignation between two people who had lost all sense of time.

"There's a part of me that wants to know… who I am, who I used to be. But part of me is afraid… of the truth…"

"Don't be… you are among friends… whatever happens…"

When Ezra reached out to still the tears, he knew that he was at a place of no return. But he didn't care. Mentally, he set aside all his earlier reservations as his only desire now was to protect this creature and to reassure her that all was well with the universe. The words were slow to come but she seemed to appreciate his feeble attempts to comfort her, reaching out to take his hand and squeezing it gratefully. For her, weeks of suppressed emotions and pent-up stress had finally found their refuge.

* * *

For some moments, they sat shoulder to shoulder in companionable silence. Neither seemed desirous of speech. He would have given his right arm to know what she was thinking and if she felt the same about him. He chided himself for his impatience… she was vulnerable and he had to tread carefully. Nevertheless, he felt compelled to act and bridge the silence.

"Miss Lin, would you do me the honour of dining with me this evening? It would give me great joy to have the pleasure of your company. While the cuisine in town is tolerable, it lacks a … uh… certain _sophistication _that befits a lady such as yourself."

"Dinner would be wonderful… Thank you… Now, I must get ready for work… You have been very kind."

As she got up to leave, she took his hand and gave it another squeeze before letting go. She dabbed her eyes and quickly made her way out of the alley. Not, however, before turning around once more and flashed him a parting smile.

* * *

He should've known that it was too good to last. He could blame it on deep-seated loneliness or moonstruck madness but deep down, he knew it wasn't either. Still at the time it was a chance he had to take and he took it. He had no regrets about that. It would be the greatest gamble of his life and there was a part of him that relished the challenge.

* * *

The lady that occupied his thoughts was busy with thoughts of her own. She was grateful for his kindness and felt ( not the first time) how fortunate she was that it was these seven men that found her. And now, she was being asked to dinner by a man who had no reason to trust her.

Dinner… she had only one dress that she deemed suitable… she hadn't worn it since the day they found her. She didn't think she would ever find the occasion to, in a place like this. A place like this… would be the last place in the world she would have hoped to meet with such kindness… and yet…

She was running a little late for work. It was her first time so she didn't expect to be in too much trouble over it. As she entered the restaurant, she looked around and noticed the regulars and the newcomers. There was a man in particular that caught her eye. A brown checkered suit in a bowler hat. He looked vaguely familiar. Where had she seen him before?

She went into the kitchen and apologized to the proprietor for her tardiness. Still curious about the man in the brown suit, she asked about the newcomers and was informed that a couple of the men were traveling from San Francisco on business. Strapping on her apron, she started on the dishes stacked up beside her. It was there and then it came to her… The scattered pieces in her mind were finally falling into place… her childhood, how she came to be in America and the events which led to her being left to die in the desert.

Now she knew the truth. While she was alive… her life would be in constant danger and she was putting everyone else at Four Corners in jeopardy.


	3. Chapter 3

China Doll  
Chapter 3

"Lin? I didn't hear you come in…"

"It's alright… I just wanted to be somewhere quiet… to think…"

"How long have you been here?"

"I don't know… a while…"

"Something troublin' you? You look like you've seen a ghost…"

"Not just one... many"

In the stillness of the church where one could hear a pin drop, the slightest movement echoed through the dusty pews. Night had enveloped the tiny chapel. In the semi-darkness, her normally clear, confident voice rang out sorrowfully between starts and stops. Aided by the candlelit surroundings, Josiah saw the sadness that engulfed her. It was as if the weight of the universe had fallen on her shoulders. Heaving a sigh, she spoke again, monotonously, as if reciting some dreaded school lesson.

"When I was a child, I lived next to the International Settlement in Shanghai City. My father had business dealings with the British and American foreigners and I would accompany him on his many visits. When he wasn't looking, I would secretly visit the church nearby." She paused, " It was a lot bigger than this one. The minister would come out and talk to me. I didn't understand him at the time but I knew he was kind and as I got older I could see he was a man who knew God." She broke off…

"I miss him." She muttered.

"Who? The minister?" Josiah asked gently.

She nodded numbly and fell silent. Moments later she spoke again, as if compelled by a long suppressed inner need.

"I always thought that if he was around, God would be. I felt safe and everything made sense. I just wanted him to be around forever."

"But he wasn't, was he?"

She shook her head in reply. "He left for England the year I turned 16… For 10 years, I he was my teacher. A man of God and a man of science. I went to his missionary school just outside the settlement, where he opened a whole world of knowledge for me. It was unusual for a girl but I was the only child and my father thought I should learn the ways of the foreigner… They were the future, he used to say, the Manchu government was weak and Shanghai was gradually being overrun with foreigners." She was choking back the tears. "I miss them."

"Your family?"

Again, she nodded…

"Are they in Shanghai?"

She shook her head. "They're all gone…"

"All?"

"All…" she whispered hoarsely, "There is no one. I have no one left… and no home…"

There was a cry of despair in her voice that went beyond sadness. Despair tinged with fear. The creature that he was looking at looked defeated and haunted so different to the quiet elegance he had become accustomed to.

Josiah continued to sit patiently and waited for her to speak. It was a while before she spoke again.

"I was afraid to… I didn't want to…" Her voice trailed off in sheer anguish.

"What didn't you want to do…"

"Remember…"

In spite of himself, Josiah was intrigued… _What was this pathetic soul so afraid of? What was so terrible in her past that it was haunting her?_ Conversant with the confessions of men, he knew that it was better to bide his time, meanwhile prompting where he could. She seemed desirous of speech but was obviously conflicted. It was clear that she was holding back.

"It's been a while since I've even been to a church…" She continued after another long pause.

"You know you're welcome anytime." He said reassuringly.

"I know…" She managed a weak smile. "Tonight, I just wanted to feel safe… be close to… God…"

"Any particular reason why?"

"I miss him…" was all she would say before lapsing back into a silent reverie. It would be some time before she emerged from her musings.

"I have been here too long… I must go…" She got up to leave and heard the pew creak from under her.

"Lin…"

"Yes… Mr Josiah?"

"Anytime you want to talk, my door is open…"

"I know… Thank you for listening…"

As she ambled out of the church, he noticed the heavy-footed gait. He wondered if he should have pressed the issue and kept her talking. But it has never been his way to force the hand of others. He was almost certain that she'd speak her piece if left alone. Still, he was left wondering what she was afraid of.

* * *

Ezra pensively examined his fob watch for the sixth time. The disquiet he felt earlier was growing by the minute. He had been waiting outside the boarding house where she was staying, for over an hour now, alternating between pacing on the deck and shifting positions on the bench outside. The proprietor had not seen hair or hide of her for several hours. Of course, there was a chance she was avoiding him… it wouldn't be the first time a woman had done so but he reasoned that she could have turned him down in the first place and saved them both the embarrassment. That aside, she didn't seem the type to lead a man up the garden path. 

He went to the restaurant and made inquiries there. The manager said that he hadn't seen her for several hours. She had come in during the morning but left an hour later complaining of a headache and wanted to go home. Ezra stood around long enough to hear the manager muttering a few choice words before taking his leave. Now, he really had cause for anxiety.

_Had they found her? Who were they? Was she still alive? Where was she? Could it be that she was just running away from this place? _

His mind was in tumult as he went from saloon to livery in search of the missing lady. _I should have cottoned on to things more quickly._ He lamented that time had been wasted and in such instances, time was of the essence... the difference between life and death.

* * *

Josiah was sitting on the steps of the church for a little fresh air in so much as one was able to inhale anything fresh in this dustbowl. His mind was full… ruminating over recent happenings… continuing to speculate about the young lady that had come in seeming desperation to the church seeking solace. In a way, she reminded him of his own sister… once vivacious and brimming with exuberance but now merely a shell of the woman she once was. Thinking of his sister always reminded him of his own failure to protect her but also became his greatest impetus to protect any other member of the fairer sex. 

The main street was dark apart from the occasional pedestrian still out and about. From his vantage point, he could feel the chill of the night air. To his surprise, he could see Ezra's bright red coat bobbing up and down the street at varying intervals. What could he be doing at this time of the night apparently calling on one establishment and the next?

Curious, he strolled up to a position within earshot of where Ezra was and called out his name.

"Ezra!"

The younger man turned round where he was and ran towards him.

"What might you be doin out here at this time of night?" Josiah inquired.

"I'm looking for Lin… "

"Lin? I just saw her an hour ago at the church…"

"At the church?"

"Yeah, I assumed she went back to her room."

"She's not there… I was just there 5 minutes ago."

"Not there? Well, there's a good reason to be worried… The mood she was in before… I don't know what she might get up to." Josiah reflected.

"What sort of a mood was she in…" Ezra asked anxiously.

"She was afraid of something. I think she's starting to remember things."

"She's regained her memory?"

"From what she was tellin' me I'd say so. At least some of it. The thing that tickles my curiosity is what she didn't tell me. She was mighty scared of something."

"Scared enough to run off…?"

"Could be… could be…" Josiah replied thoughtfully.

"Josiah… we need to go look for her… She obviously not in town… I've searched everywhere." Ezra's voice conveyed a desperate sense of urgency.

"I'll get my things and meet you at the livery."

"Alright…"

As Josiah ran back to the church, it occurred to him that Ezra was unusually concerned about the oriental stranger. It also occurred to him that he had forgotten to ask him why he was looking for her in the first place.


	4. Chapter 4

China Doll

Chapter 4

She was running… hard… Someone was hot on her heels… She couldn't see who it was… a shadowy figure brandishing a weapon… menacing and laughing. It seemed like she had been running for hours in fear for her life. The other girls were running too, covered in blood and screaming in terror. They cried out her name and called for help. No one was coming… to save them… All she could do was look on helplessly in fear for her own life.

Her eyes flickered open. The spectre of her dreams had vanished. For now. Images and individuals from her past and present were descending on her dreams with a vengeance. She was awake now but would find no permanent solace in that.

She tried to move her head but it felt like a sack of rocks. Moving the rest of her body was near impossible.

Eventually, she managed to open her eyes wide enough to ascertain her location. A room but not hers. Her surroundings looked unfamiliar save for the figure stretched beside her on a rocking chair. A man apparently asleep. _Michael?_

When she could, she looked over the lithe figure which had seemingly taken up post beside her and realized that it wasn't Michael. Feelings of relief flooded her mind. _Just my own personal guardian angel_, she thought. Odd that she hadn't noticed it before but in some ways her handsome watchman bore more than a fleeting resemblance to Michael but then she had forgotten about Michael, David, San Francisco and those innocent souls. She had so wanted to forget and for a while she did. But seeing _him_ in the restaurant… brought it all back.

While the man sitting beside her in silent repose was not Michael, they had the same swagger, bearing and even spotted a similar style of dress but this one had an indefinable vulnerability she never saw in Michael. Or at least he took care never to show it.

She made some attempt to turn over to her side but was rewarded with a sharp stab of pain. She responded with an unholy cry which startled her slumbering sentry who promptly jumped to his feet. Concern was written all over his face.

"How are you feeling, my dear?"

"Ezra?" Her speech was sluggish. "What is this place?"

"Welcome to my humble abode." She could see the gambler's face coming into focus.

"Your room? Why? What happened?" She murmured.

"Nothing untoward, I assure you. We found you near the river, unconscious… Nathan thinks that you were probably overcome with hunger or sheer exhaustion. And you injured your leg on some rocks."

"I.. I... remember leaving the church and walking…"

"More like running. You managed to run a very long way, my dear."

"How long have I been like this?"

"Just over a day."

"A day?" She echoed bewildered. "I need to go…"

"Hush now, darlin'… You're not in any state to go anywhere."

She made a feeble attempt at getting up but Ezra quickly restrained her.

"Now, now… You're still very weak, my dear… and you do need to take things easy… doctor's orders."

Feeling utterly weary, she realised the wisdom of what he said and allowed herself to be tucked back into bed. Still, there was a hollow feeling inside which caused her to wonder when her last meal was.

"I would appreciate something to eat if it's not too much trouble."

He nodded and went outside. Some minutes later he returned with a tray of hot soup and placed it down on the bedside table. He adjusted the pillows expertly and propped her up gently, sitting the tray on her lap. He took a spoonful of the soup and put it to her lips. The aroma alone was just enough to whet her appetite. She needed no other invitation.

"This soup's very good…"

"Compliments of yours truly." He bowed modestly and offered her another mouthful.

"You made this? It's very good."

After several mouthfuls, she felt some of her strength returning… as if she had returned from the dead.

"I'm impressed. Gambler, gunslinger, nurse and cook. You are a man of many talents, Mr Ezra."

"That is hard to deny." He responded with an impish smirk. "But mum's the word, dear lady… I have a reputation to uphold around here. Domestic qualifications don't exactly inspire fear in the hearts of miscreants, cutthroats, reprobates and ne'er-do-wells. So I'd rather not have the entire territory privvy to this.

"Your secret is safe with me." She replied with a conspiratorial grin.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. Throughout it, she found it near impossible to avoid those jade green eyes and more than once, she found herself staring into them. On one occasion, he caught her gaze and returned it. Half-embarrassed and somewhat mesmerized, she looked away quickly and awkwardly muttered an unconvincing lie about never seeing anyone with green eyes before. But it wasn't just the eyes. She was amazed that anyone would go to so much trouble for someone they hardly knew. One could not be unaffected by it. Never before in her life had she experienced such tenderness and care, especially from a man. Michael, perhaps was the closest thing… but even then, she seldom saw his gentler side.

She chided herself for allowing her thoughts to run amok. As things stood, she didn't need more complications in her already problematic life. Undoubtedly, this man had more than his fair share of attractions but more importantly, she sensed that there were depths in him even he himself was unaware of. Something inside her was eager to plumb those depths but the other part of her was fearful of what it would lead to. The last thing she needed now was to embark on some kind of relationship when she wasn't in any position to offer anything in return. It was tempting, nonetheless… The sweet smell of this room, the warmth of the bed and the presence of this man made her feel safe. A girl could get used to this. But for how long? Sigh… she was tired and had no strength to entertain such notions with any lucidity. Quickly, she banished all such thoughts with the admonition that a man like this would hardly care for someone like her.

"Did your mother teach you how to make that soup?" She asked after she had had her fill.

"My mother? Most definitely not…" Ezra chuckled. "My dear mother wouldn't know one end of a ladle from the other."

"So who…"

"My Aunt Sadie… I lived with her for the better part of two years… except for the occasions when my mother took me on one of her escapades."

"Sounds exciting."

"Yes… and no…"

Although his face registered a smile, there was a deep sorrow in his eyes which brought to light the vulnerability that she was drawn to earlier. Heaven wasn't making this easy for her. Seeing his reaction when talking about his childhood, it was evident that she had touched a sensitive spot and decided to change the subject.

"So why did you bring me here… instead of my own room?"

"Josiah was convinced that something or someone had unnerved you to such an extent as to to induce you to flee. We thought it best to secure you in a different location in your weakened state. And since a feather bed is preferable to a bedroll on a dusty pew… it fell to me to offer up my only extravagance in this ungodly place.

"I'm sorry for being so much trouble."

"Never, my dear," Ezra said reassuringly. "It's a gentlemen's privilege to be of assistance to a lady in distress." He declared.

After a slight pause, those jade-green eyes looked questioningly into hers.

"Are you in _distress_, my dear?" He asked emphatically.

She sighed and fell silent.

"A wise man once said 'A burden shared is a burden halved'" He prompted. "Who knows… we might even be able to help."

"I don't think this is a burden that can be shared with anyone without involving them in a heap of trouble," was the sorrowful response.

"Well, you've come to the right place then… trouble always seems to find its way here..."

"I don't know…" Her voice quivering

Ezra noticed that the stress of broaching the subject was beginning to tire her and decided not to press the point.

"Look, my dear, you don't have to talk now. Get some rest. I'll still be here if you want to talk later."

She nodded gratefully and closed her eyes. She was tired and hoped to heaven that she would have a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Haven't see Ezra much in here, Josiah." commented JD over dinner in the saloon. "The man practically lives here. Haven't known him to miss a poker game since we've met him. That new fella that just come off the stagecoach is pretty good. I'm sure he'd relish the challenge." 

"I think there are more pressing matters occupying his thoughts at present."

"It's Ezra we're talking about. What could be more important than a poker game or making a few extra bucks on the side?"

"It seems Cupid's arrow has struck…"

" Cupid's what?" JD demanded.

"He's in love."

"Ezra's got himself a girl?" exclaimed JD incredulously. "Not Miss Lin?" He exclaimed, as the truth dawned on him.

"I don't think he knows it yet. Or does he?" mused Josiah.

"Well, this should be interesting."

"Yes, it seems our Mr Standish is human after all." said Josiah circumspectly.

* * *

As Ezra pulled the covers over her shoulders, he felt a desperate yearning to hold her, to let her know that he would never let anyone hurt her. Powerful feelings were at play… some familiar and some long hidden. Why anyone would want to hurt such a lovely, harmless creature was beyond his comprehension. He gazed longingly at the tormented soul and determined in his heart that for better or for worse, he had to see it through. 


	5. Chapter 5

China Doll

Chapter 5

Ezra was impatient to leave the saloon. That last game lasted longer than he had expected. The traveller in the brown suit was much more adept than he had initially thought. Both men seemed evenly matched and appeared remarkably well acquainted with the tricks of the trade. Normally, he relished the challenge but during the course of the evening he was noticeably distracted and by now, some of the others had more than an inkling why.

Despite the fact that his patient had survived his ministrations, there was still a lingering unease that nagged him. He convinced himself that he was concerned for her safety and was more than justified in being so. Anything else, at this point, was secondary. There was a part of him, of course, that was skeptical of his motives. Were his intentions entirely honourable? A comely, young lady in distress… vulnerable… in need of protection. Just ripe for the picking and he was the man in the right place at the right time. Shaking his head, he tried vainly to banish such thoughts from his mind. Scoundrel though he was, he knew no lady ever had cause to complain. Not even the mayor's daughter.

While he was no Buck Wilmington, Ezra was not averse to the occasional dalliance. He was even amenable to the idea of matrimony. But in this god-forsaken town, the pickings were slim. Still, there were moments that his own deviousness troubled him although he was happy to concede, it never extended to the misuse of women. Despite much resistance on his part, he was still his mother's son. Sure, he battled the pull she had over him and wished on more than one occasion that he could sever ties with her. Nonetheless she was at the end of the day, she was his mother and deep down he longed for her approval but he could never be sure if she was truly sincere in her display of affection or just playing him for a fool.

A fool. Was that was he was? To have allowed himself to become embroiled in the good-doing of the others? To waste all his talents and abilities in the thankless task of law enforcement, while missing out on greener pastures? Was he a fool also to allow himself to be emotionally engaged with this beautiful stranger whose mind was bordering on instability? Clearly she was harboring a secret… something that was causing this panic attacks… if he could just get her to open up.

The lady in question had more or less recovered from her recent exertions. Sitting on the steps of the church, she was enjoying the cool breeze of the evening air and some time alone to make sense of recent events. The dilapidated building was becoming a place of private meditation and refuge for her…

It was apparent to her that in the past few days that Ezra was going beyond the call of duty. She suspected that he was not a man given to whims or causes. He did what he had to to get by. Hardly an idealist by any definition. Nevertheless, she could not be insensitive to all his attentions to her, the result of which had put her in a quandary. On the surface, he was charming, sensitive and humorous but in truth, it was the underlying vulnerability that she was craving to know… that almost boyish vulnerability. She saw flashes of it when mention was made of his mother. It was that vulnerability and uncertainty in his eyes which gave her an odd hope that this man could be worth spending the rest of her life knowing. Deep down, she badly wanted to reciprocate but lamented that she was hardly in any position to do so. The amnesia had made her carefree in her ignorance but now the knowledge of the past was haunting her. There were obligations to fulfill… not to mention the peril hanging over head. She hated to think that she would bring him or any of the others into the danger that was trailing her.

Furthermore, she couldn't be sure if she hadn't been seen in this place.

* * *

Although it was late, he wanted to see her and be near her. Questions about her were occupying his every thought and it was driving him to distraction. He had committed himself to this course and now his heart was restive. He was determined to know where he stood. 

Ezra fumbled with his fob watch nervously wondering if going to see her now was wise. Josiah mentioned that she had been spending a lot of time at the church lately.

* * *

Her night time pondering were going nowhere. She was more at a loss than ever. As if by divine appointment, the man who had been the centre of her musings was strolling towards her. As she saw his approach from a distance, she steadied herself, trying her utmost not to reveal any discomfiture at his arrival. He was similarly resolved to keep his feelings under wraps until he was on surer ground. 

"Enjoying the desert air, Miss Lin?" He inquired as casually as he could.

"It is a pleasant evening… But mostly, I've just been thinking."

"What about?"

"You know the usual. The madness of life… and what a cruel master Fate often is…"

"I would have thought that it was rather late for such bleak philosophical contemplation."

"My father often said that it is during the silence of the night that an individual comes face to face with his own soul."

"Quite the philosopher… your father…"

There was something about the way he was looking at her. The intensity of his eyes burning into her mind was a mixture of undisguised desire and curiosity. A shiver went down her spine. The effect that this man was having on her was something new. He was bringing on these unfamiliar emotions that were demanding to be heard. It was not happiness but despair which took hold as she considered the things that she could never share with this man. Something had gone astray in the cosmic scheme of things… Was she was being punished for something that she had done in a previous life? Because Fate seemed to be taking some kind of sadistic pleasure from watching her suffer.

"He was… I just wished he was here right now to help me make sense of everything… He always knew just what to say."

"What's troubling you, my dear?

_You, for a start._ "The list is as long as your arm."

"I'm not rushing anywhere."

"I'm sure you have better things to do than to listen to my problems." She said evasively.

"No, I don't." came the firm, decisive answer. "Really."

In spite of his earlier resolution, he reached down towards her and sought her lips… tenderly... holding back the full force of his desire. She didn't resist but gave a dejected sigh when he finally pulled away. He had shown his hand… would she show hers?

Tears welled up in her eyes and trickled down her cheeks.

Ezra didn't know what to make of it. "Was that unpleasant for you?" He asked hesitantly.

"Oh no, not at all…"

"Then why…"

"Mr Ezra, I can't… there are things about me…"

"What things?"

"I am not mistress of my own life… I have obligations"

"Obligations? You're married?" He exclaimed wondering why he hadn't considered that possibility.

"Not exactly."

"Engaged?"

"No."

"Then what is it?" He was becoming frustrated.

"In a different time and place… things could have been different between us but I can't…"

Ezra was nonplussed. He didn't know what he was expecting but certainly not this. How long would this riddle be played out? Would it always be like this? There was profound melancholy in her eyes… containing much regret and now drenched with tears… He saw an unmasked yearning too which compelled him to reach out and touch her face but she swung away from him and walked away.

"Why won't you tell me…" He pleaded.

She murmured something that sounded like, "If only our paths had crossed sooner." and ran off sobbing.

Ezra was in a daze. He had made himself vulnerable to this woman. She had not been repulsed by his attentions but saddened. There didn't appear to be any rhyme or reason for her reaction. Whatever the reason, he couldn't let her run off by herself in the dead of night.

* * *

She took refuge in some quiet alley and wept piteously. She blamed herself for letting things go that far. Ezra Standish was the first one to get that far… Love was something indulged in by poets and singers but not by courtesans, mistresses and concubines. 

Lost in her thoughts, she was surprised by a familiar voice in the darkness.

"Made yourself cozy in this town, didn't you?"

_David!_

"What are you doing here?" She heard his footsteps drawing closer.

"Been up and down the territory looking for your corpse. You don't look too surprised to see me though."

"No… I knew it was just a matter of time."

"And don't seem much scared… Seeing how I killed you once…"

"Well, you didn't do such a good job, did you?"

"I've come to finish the job."

"Like what you did to those girls?"

"They were becoming a liability and you had to stick your oar in."

"They were children!"

"Well, since you were so mighty fond of them, you might like to join them… in hell…" Drawing his weapon from his holster, he aimed the muzzle of his gun at her.

Trembling, her stomach was tied up in knots. _I have to keep him talking._

"So what are you going to tell Michael?" She said, sounding braver than she felt.

"What's there to tell… he already thinks you're dead. Killed by Indians."

"If you kill me now, the law around here will investigate…"

"In this kind of town, no one cares if some Chinese whore gets hers…"

"I do." said another voice in the dark. A third party had joined them. "That was an enlightening conversation, Mister Collins. You know, it's men like you that give gamblers a bad name. You should know better than to intimidate unarmed women in dim alleyways. It's liable to get you accidentally shot."

There was no doubt who that drawl belonged to. He must have crept up on them while they were talking. _Wonder how much he overheard_. Needless to say, she was never happier to see anyone in her whole life.

"And you, my dear, should know better than to run off in the dark without an escort."

She couldn't make out his face but there was no mistaking the steel in his voice.

"Stay out of this, Standish… it doesn't involve you." Collins yelled out.

"Oh, but it does… when you started brandishing your weapon around here,_ you_ involved _me_. You see, I'm the law in these parts."

"Like hell you are."

"He's telling the truth, David. There are seven of them that police this town. He's one of them."

"Now that Miss Lin here has confirmed the veracity of my statement, I ask that you cast down your weapon, Mr Collins… and kick it towards me… Much obliged. Miss Lin, I think it would be advisable for you to remove yourself from harm's way."

She nodded and made careful backward steps away from Collins. All eyes were on him.

"Mr Collins, I trust that you will desist from any sudden movements. My tactile sensitivity with cards extends to weaponry."

"I'll bet." was the sarcastic reply.

For a while there, Collins made no attempt to move. Then suddenly, with surprising agility, he whipped out a hunting knife that was concealed in his sleeve and hurled it with the aim of doing serious damage. Ezra, in accordance with habit and instinct , responded with two shots from his pistol and pushed Lin aside. In doing so, he fell victim to the knife, which landed straight into his abdomen. Seeing that his opponent was incapacitated, Collins went for his pistol only to fall victim to a nicely placed kick to his forehead. The lady was not entirely without recourse.

When the dust of the scramble finally settled, both men were lying flat on the ground with battle wounds. Collins was out cold and Ezra was breathing with great difficulty. The lady, on the hand, was curiously unscathed.

"Mr Ezra… how are you feeling?" She was anxious about how pale he was looking and how much blood he was losing.

"Like I've been pierced with a sharp object." He could barely speak without coughing.

"What can I do?"

"Get Nathan…" He said hoarsely.

"I can't leave you." She protested.

"You must… go… now…" He was weakening visibly.

"Alright, I'll be back soon…" She bent over, giving him one last look and felt his forehead with her lips.

"Hurry…" Ezra squeezed her hand urgently before letting go.

In the silence of the night, running as fast as her legs could carry her, all she could think of was that kiss and the man who gave it to her.


	6. Chapter 6

China Doll

Chapter 6

It was emotionally gruelling, watching Ezra battle for his life, while she looked on helplessly. Nathan had managed to remove the offending blade but the loss of blood had been great. At the end of the day, it was a fight he had to win on his own. Even though she barely knew him, she now knew something about him that even he did not believe of himself – that he was capable of courage. Nonetheless, it was distressing. Lying next to her was a strong, vital man in the prime of his life hovering at death's door and she had to acknowledge that she had played some part in his present condition.

It was her turn to keep a vigil at his bedside. A normally witty and well-spoken man reduced to an eerie silence… there was surely something anomalous in that. The thought that his death was a real possibility caused the latent anger to surface, especially when his and her would-be-killer had survived the recent fray. The injustice of the situation was not lost on her.

Although she had ample opportunity to examine him at close quarters these past two days, she still didn't know how she felt about him. Never had she encountered anyone before that would put themselves out for anyone without expecting anything in return. Would he expect her to reciprocate out of gratitude? She was grateful, not just for his being there at the right place, at the right time but for thinking highly enough of her to bestow his affections on her. Was it just gratitude though? There were still those unfamiliar sensations that she couldn't account for. Of this she was certain, that whether Ezra lived or died, there would always be this profound regret of never being able to act on them.

And then there was Michael to think about. The terms of their relationship was equally nebulous. Undoubtedly, he was a good man… a great man even but she never once thought herself in love with him. While he saved her from a fate worse than death, she knew it wasn't passion between them. Until now, it didn't matter much. She had the greatest respect for him and owed him her life but didn't have any expectations beyond what little they had shared. Expectations were the prerogative of wealthy, foreign girls… penniless, Chinese concubines knew better. She knew him well enough to know that he wasn't the kind of man to give over himself to anything, least of all a woman. His business empire took precedence above all else. Helen, his wife, mother of his children knew that better than most.

"Miss… you sure look like you could use some sleep…" Nathan's voice broke into her thoughts. He looked at her with concern.

"I'm alright."

"You don't look it."

"I don't feel right leaving his side."

"You ain't gonna do nobody any good if you collapse from exhaustion."

"I don't know. I should…"

Nathan seemed to know what she was thinking.

"How about I come and get you when he wakes." He offered.

"Will you? I'd appreciate that." She looked at him gratefully. "Nathan?"

"Yes, miss?"

"Will he be alright?"

"It's hard to say… But he's come through this far…"

"I understand. Thank you."

Nathan nodded and accompanied her to the door. She turned and gave the room and its patient a lingering look before leaving. As long as he was lying there comatose, there was no guarantee that she would sleep easy that night.

* * *

As expected, sleep did not come easily but after much tossing and turning she drifted off, dreaming of ghosts and monsters, nagging her, taunting her, that she would never be free of them. Every where she ran, there would be someone from her past calling to her, reminding her of the bleakness that had been so much part of her short life. 

She woke to a tear-soaked pillow. Sleep could bring no respite to a troubled mind. But the fear which held her captive for too long no longer had mastery. In its place, however, was an inner resolve to see it through no matter the cost. Fate would now have a maidservant, no longer content to wait in the wings.

* * *

Later that morning, she made her way to the jailhouse to pay a visit to an old acquaintance. David Collins was lying in bed recuperating from his injuries. His arm was in a sling and a tightly wrapped bandage could be seen around his head. Prison was too good for him. She walked up to his cell and commented with an icy calm: 

"So you're still alive? A great pity."

"More's the pity that you're still alive. Standish got in the way, otherwise I would've had you."

"If that man dies, I will kill you myself." She said coldly.

"Sure you will…" Collins chuckled.

"Don't think I won't." She challenged, with more than a hint of steel. "Without your gun or your lackeys to do your dirty work, you are nothing David Collins."

"What is he to you anyway?"

"All you need to know is that he is ten times the man you can only hope to be."

Making that declaration she stormed out of the jail, slamming the door behind her. Unbeknownst to her, Chris Larabee had been sitting in the darkened corner, witnessing the entire exchange. Moments after her departure, he spoke up.

"And you know what else, Collins? I'd give her the keys to your cell and watch."

* * *

Outside the jailhouse, she took a gulp of fresh air. Being in the same room with David Collins commanded all her inner resources but oddly enough, no longer was she afraid of what he might do to her. She was much too angry for that.

There was no where else to go. No where else she wanted to be. Lin wandered back to the bedside of her rescuer. There had been no fresh word on his condition… no salve to relieve her troubled mind.

When she got there, the others were there. Four of them were obviously deep in some kind of discussion… Josiah, Nathan, JD and Vin. She hastily apologized for interrupting and looked anxiously at the bedridden man. Nathan looked especially grave. Evidently, there was no good news to be had.

All eyes turned to her expectantly. It was Josiah that asked the question on everyone's lips.

"Lin, isn't about time you told us what your relationship with David Collins is?"

She nodded. It was only a matter of time… After all that had happened, they had every right to know.

"To do that… I have to tell you something about myself." She paused to collect her thoughts before continuing.

"My name is Li Su Ning." She spoke in a toneless voice as if giving a recitation. "I was born in Shanghai, China outside the International Settlement. As I told Mr Josiah here, I studied English as a child in a British missionary school and became reasonably proficient with the language. As I got older, I would accompany my father on some of his business trips and became his interpreter.

"The year I turned eighteen, my father was murdered by bandits during one of his trips. I found out later that some of his business rivals were behind his murder due to his success with foreign clients. My mother did not long survive him. His death was a huge blow and she never recovered from it.

Here somebody opened the door and entered the already crowded room. It was Mary and she took care not to disrupt the atmosphere. The door had been ajar and she had overheard some of what had been said. Nathan offered his seat and she took it readily. She gave Lin a nod, urging her to continue.

"This left me all alone. As an unmarried female, I was reliant on relatives. But none of them were in any position to help me and others lived in the countryside. In order to remain in Shanghai, I sold myself to a flower house to pay off my family's debts and took on the position of a _chang_ _ge nu_ or sing-song girl. While sing-song girls are primarily entertainers, many provide sexual favours or eventually become concubines of wealthy men or nobles. Fortunately for me, I spoke English. It meant that I had greater freedoms that most of the others didn't. I made myself useful by helping the flower house expand its client base.

"There was a man… an American, a regular… He made offers to some of the girls and promised them a better life in America… more money and even marriage. I didn't know about it at the time and only heard about it later. Months later, girls started to go missing in the Shanghai area. It wasn't just our flower house… it was the same story in a number of places. A girl that I was close to told me about what this man had said and a week or so later, she also went missing. The owner and I went to the authorities and made a complaint against this man. Of course, that achieved nothing. The man was a foreigner and had diplomatic immunity. So I tried going to the American embassy instead, which turned out to be a mistake. My curiosity would cost me.This man had connections at the highest level and the girls were no one that anyone would miss.

"A few weeks later, while I was walking home from the shops. Two men attacked and gagged me. When I became conscious, I found myself on a junk headed for San Francisco. I wasn't the only one. There were 10 other girls between 16-25 years old all bound for the same place. Conditions onboard the junk were terrible. It was not a place fit for animals least of all humans. Two of the girls fell ill and died during the journey. It was a miracle that the rest of us survived… but barely.

Lin's voice faltered. A strangled sob rose from her throat. Moments later, managing to hold back the tears, she continued in a strained voice.

"When we arrived in America, we were herded into a warehouse. Conditions there were no better than on the junk. The smell was enough to cripple a brave man. I often wondered how many girls died there. I imagine that their bodies dumped there and then into the sea later. Later, I overheard some of the men talking in another room about what they were going to do with us. They were expecting the middle man… the "distributor", as they called him. He was coming to collect us and place us in various establishments.

"The middle man arrived and soon a heated argument broke out. He demanded to know why there were so few girls in this shipment. The others insisted that things were becoming dangerous and people were beginning to take notice. Apparently they had accidentally kidnapped the daughter of a wealthy merchant in Shanghai, who was demanding action back home. They had decided that this shipment was going to be the last one for some time. The middle man wasn't happy obviously but there wasn't much he could do.

"In the next few hours, we were taken to different places around California. Through an interpreter, they cautioned us against defying our owners or trying to escape. The truth was, we were all too frightened, too lost to even consider it. Last I heard, one of the girls killed herself after being beaten over and over again."

This time she made no attempt to hold back the tears. She burst into heartbreaking sobs, burying her face in her hands. It was some time before she finally managed to pull herself together. JD slammed his fist on the nearest surface and looked at her with boyish anguish. The other men looked on sympathetically and patiently waited for her to continue. Mary shook her head in utter disbelief.

"I didn't know it at the time but David Collins was the middle man. He was well-connected through his brother's business dealings. Michael Collins, you may have heard of, owns many gambling establishments throughout California and his clientele was extensive. It wouldn't have been that difficult for David to find buyers. Michael, on the other hand, had all the business know how in that family. Everyone said that he had the "golden finger". A millionaire before 30. He was a true business genius. Ironically, it was through one of these places that I met them. 7 of us, all lined up to be used like playthings. I don't know what it was that Michael saw in me that day… but he asked for me, personally. He found out that I spoke English and soon heard my entire life story... The first person in America that showed me any kindness. He became my benefactor and bought me out of the place that I was bonded to. I worked for him in different capacities but mostly as his interpreter. With all that had happened, I considered myself lucky to have met him. Things could have turned out a lot worse for me."

Lin heaved a sigh and then continued.

"Almost ten months ago, I discovered one night that David had started the sex slave trade again. It was entirely by accident that I saw him dragging a couple of girls into one of Michael's casinos at the back entrance. I talked to them when no one was looking and found out that he was now kidnapping girls as young as twelve both from China and around California.

"I followed him to his base of operations and was horrified to discover that he was keeping a number of them in a former warehouse for his own… convenience. 16, 14 and even 12 year olds. It made me ill. I felt that I had to do something. I had some money saved up but I couldn't help 8 girls get out of the country. So after a lot of thinking, I went to Michael and told him everything. He listened and then confronted David about it. In the beginning he denied everything. But after being pressed, he confessed, more or less. In front of his brother, he swore that he would stop.

Here she paused for a moment and then continued bitterly.

"To prove his sincerity, he offered to transport the girls back to their families and asked me to go along to make sure they understood what was happening. Looking back now, I should have known better than to believe him… I don't know that I believed him entirely but I wanted to do something to help and there was no one else. He drugged my drink knowing that I would otherwise put up a fight.

"All I remember from that night were the screams of the girls… crying for help. He had some of his hired men with him and they brought me as far into the desert as they could and gave me a good going over and left me for dead.

"The rest you know…

"I keep dreaming of them… those girls… I see their faces… Awake or asleep, I live with the knowledge that I was responsible for their deaths.

Her voice had a lonely, desperate ring that seemed to echo throughout the room.

Mary, who had been moved to tears, went over to where she was and hugged her. "You were very brave. I don't know if I could've done what you did."

Lin shook her head.

"Now, I fear that I have brought trouble here with me. David Collins will be missed."

"How many men has he got?" JD chimed in

"Six to eight. Maybe more. Michael will send out a search party."

"More, eh? Well, those are my kind of odds." Vin observed.

"I'd say we have a week or even two, if we're lucky." Josiah commented.

"Don't forget there's only six of us…" Nathan reminded the others.

"Not anymore." A frail but distinct voice sang out.

Everyone turned to the one who had spoken. The town's resident gambler- law enforcement officer had regained consciousness. He had done so for some time but everyone was so caught up with Lin's story that they had failed to notice. His cheeks were looking ague but his eyes lost none of their gleam.

"Have I been gone that long, Mr Jackson that you've been remiss in failing to include me in your calculations?" He demanded weakly. "You boys aren't thinking of embroiling yourselves in an altercation without me, are you?"

"Not a chance, Ezra… Not a chance…"


	7. Chapter 7

China Doll

Chapter 7

"_Jie jie_, _wo how hai pa_…" (Older sister, I am really afraid)

"_Wo zhi dao, mei mei_" (I know, little sister)

Two disheveled, frightened girls huddled together shielding each other from the elements. The younger was shivering and her teeth were chattering. The thin sheets covering them were inadequate as blankets. Both were far from the familiar sights of home… helpless babes torn from the security of the mundane. Sadly, they weren't the only ones languishing in this hold. There were the other girls but all were prisoners, deceived, taken captive against their will and even from loved ones. None of knew what the future would hold. Those two who were awake, were full of thoughts of home, what might have been and their present predicament. For the others, exhaustion had overcome their anxiety. They were sound asleep… for now. Lulled to sleep by the rhythmic rocking of the junk, these young women could do little else to while their hours away.

Like animals to be bought and sold, they were herded into one of the junk's watertight compartments. They could hear the sound of the ocean waves beating against the hull but could not see the sunlight or the howling wind. Meager amounts of food were brought to them each day and the younger ones would fall upon them like half-starved wolves on their prey. But there was not enough… there never seemed to be enough.

From what their captors had told them, they knew, at least, that they were headed for America. They were to be chattel supplied to the demands of the brave new world. Of course, they had all heard others espouse the wonders of America and seen American men traversing the streets of Shanghai and Guangzhou. But the west was in all other ways foreign and now it seems that many of their worst fears were coming to light. These were proving to be the foreign devils that their elders had warned them about… men who preyed on innocents…

Su Ning was one of the older girls and had the most experience with the foreigner. From their speech, she was able to tell, that most of those manning the vessel were Chinese… hired hands to transport this highly sought after and profitable cargo. There were several English speakers. She didn't know how many precisely, but she knew that they called the shots from the way they were barking orders to make haste.

It was many days since the junk set sail… She had stopped counting after the first week, knowing that such journeys were perilous. They could die even before reaching America.

America… she had read books and seen pictures of the continent. Never, did she imagine in all her nineteen years that she would be taken slave to be exploited in her first (and probably last) journey to a foreign soil. But then, there was a lot about her life she had not imagined. She had dreamt of seeing the world beyond China… London, New York and Paris… but not like this. A guiltless prisoner at the mercy of men who did not regard human life as sacrosanct.

She had no family… no one she left behind… Father and mother were gone… She missed them but was strangely gratified. At least they were not at home worrying and wondering if she were dead or alive. Apart from her brief association with the flower house, not a soul in China would miss her. The only worldly goods she had with her were those she was wearing on the night she was rudely plucked from what little comforts she had left. With these forlorn girls as her seafaring companions, the future looked grim.

* * *

"Mrs Travis… I thought about what you said. It's a good idea. I will do as you suggest." 

"Are you sure you want to do this, Lin?"

"I am afraid of what might happen to me if I do… but yes, I am sure that this is the right thing to do."

"You are the bravest person I've ever met."

"Brave? No. But I'm angry and sad. All those girls… they need someone to speak for them."

* * *

"_Jie, jie_… My stomach hurts." 

"Come closer, _mei mei_. You're shivering. Here, you can have my sheet."

"Are we getting any closer?"

"I don't know. America is thousands of miles away. It could be many more weeks before we get there."

"I'm very thirsty."

The younger of the two girls, Xiaofang, was looking unnaturally pale and perspiring. Su Ning had little experience with ailments but even she could tell that Xiaofang was far from well. The fifteen year old was breathing heavily, her speech was slurred and seemed to be in a great deal of discomfort. Su Ning picked up her cup, which was half empty and put it to the lips of the sickly girl.

"Drink up, _mei mei_. This should help you feel better."

"I don't feel too good. My head hurts, my stomach hurts." She was moaning in pain and groping in the dark to feel her right leg.

Su Ning felt Xiaofang's forehead for a temperature. She was burning up. Something had to be done. Surely it would not be in anyone's interest to let any of them die.

She pounded on the door of their prison and cried out as loudly as she could in Chinese.

"Somebody… help us… There's a sick person in here. We need a doctor."

The other girls were rudely disturbed from their uneasy slumber only to witness the ailing adolescent regurgitate what little nourishment she had had earlier.

"Please help us…" Su Ning called out wearily. "Hurry!"

They heard some shuffling and muttering behind the door. Some moments later, there was a jingling of keys and they heard the door creak open.

"This had better be important." A bearded Chinese man with a limp straggled in, looking like he had had one too many drinks.

"Uncle… this little sister is very ill. Please do what you can for her." Su Ning pleaded anxiously.

"I'm no doctor but let me have a look." He said gruffly.

He felt her forehead and looked at her sunken eyes. What he saw sobered him up somewhat.

"Hmph… Doesn't look good. Give her plenty of boiled water."

"We don't have anymore…"

He grunted and took off. A few minutes later, he returned with a large jar, a basin and a towel.

"You need to bring down the fever."

"I understand. Thank you, Uncle… for your kindness…"

He gave another grunt and shuffled off. As he stood at the doorway, he took one more look at the sick girl and shook his head. In his estimation, that one didn't have long. Those foreign devils were biting off more than they could chew. That was no way to look after one's investments.

* * *

"Are you alright, Lin? If it's too much, we can stop here today." 

"I'm fine, Mrs Travis… I'd like to continue."

* * *

"_Jie jie_… " Her voice was weak. 

"Hush… don't speak. You need to conserve your energy."

"Am I going to die?"

"No, of course not… you're going to America."

"I'm so tired… so tired…"

"Sleep now…"

Hours later, she was still tending the younger girl. Clearly, she was flagging from all her exertions as well as from a lack of sleep. Truthfully, she did not know how long it would be but felt compelled to do what she could to take her mind off the inevitable. A nagging feeling told her that she was fighting a losing battle. She had watched her mother decline steadily and recognized the signs.

It became obvious to everyone watching, how fatigued and despondent she was. The one who called herself White Lotus was the first to offer help.

"Sister Su Ning, allow me to help. You look tired and should rest."

Su Ning nodded. Frankly, she was glad of the help. She got up and collapsed into a corner of the compartment. Filled with thoughts of home, she eventually succumbed and drifted off into some much needed sleep.

She woke when she heard someone calling her name. It was White Lotus, stooping over her.

"Sister Su Ning, Xiaofang is in pain and asking for you."

"How is she?"

White Lotus shook her head sadly and offered Su Ning her hand. Both girls hurried to the dying girl's side.

"Sister Su Ning… where are you?"

"I'm here."

"I thought you had left me." She was barely able to breathe, much less speak.

"Of course not, silly." Su Ning fought back the tears that were threatening to overwhelm.

"I don't think I'm going to see America."

"Shhhh… don't speak now…"

"Please tell me more about America." She begged, taking the older girl's hand.

In a haze of tears, Su Ning spoke of places, landmarks that she had only read about. She spoke urgently as if her life depended on it, hoping it would delay the inevitable Only some minutes later did she realize that the hand she was holding had gone limp, cold and lifeless. It was then she emerged from her stupor, realizing at that moment that all the other girls were sobbing.

* * *

"What did they do with her body?" 

"They threw it overboard the next day." was the strained reply.

"If it is too hard for you, we can stop now."

"No, no… I must… I have to do this."

"You don't have to do anything. You've been through enough without having to relive it over and over again."

"I relive it everyday. It is my fate. These ghosts, they haunt me."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know… and yet, everyday that I remember I see their faces, their anguish and their fear."

"It's a terrible burden to live with."

The younger woman nodded.

"For some of us, to live is a burden. I often think that they were the lucky ones."

"They?"

"Another girl died on that journey. Three days later. She was sixteen years old."

* * *

There was an air of increased dread hanging over them. Two dead. Would there be more? Some of the girls wept bitterly. Some were common prostitutes, others were working on their family farm when they were tricked or forcibly taken. 

"Sister Su Ning, are you from Shanghai?" It was White Lotus, attempting to strike up conversation.

"Yes. And are you from Guangzhou?"

White Lotus nodded.

"I thought I recognized the accent. I went there with my father five years ago… for business." Su Ning added.

"How do you know so much about America? Have you been there before?"

Su Ning shook her head.

"I read many books and went to an English school in Shanghai."

"So you speak the foreigner's language?" White Lotus exclaimed.

Su Ning nodded.

"What is an educated person like you doing here?" White Lotus asked in astonishment.

"It's a long story."

"Tell me. There is nothing to do here, anyway."

Appreciating this gesture of companionship, Su Ning recounted her lifestory: how she lost her parents and ended up in a flower house and came to be onboard the junk. It was a difficult tale to tell.

"You have suffered much, _mei mei_."

"It seems to be the way for some…" said Su Ning with a sad smile. "What about you, _jie jie_? How did you come to be here?"

White Lotus gave a sigh before speaking.

"In a way, I was tricked although it was my original intention to leave China and start a new life in America. A man who regularly used our brothel told me that there were Chinese men in America looking for wives. I was tired of that life and had some money saved up. It sounded like a good idea at the time… a fresh start for me. So at the designated time and place I came to this boat, only to find out that instead of being a passenger, I became a prisoner. In short, these men took my money and promptly dumped me in this place."

For the first time, Su Ning noticed that White Lotus had a formal way of speaking, an elegant air about her, rather unusual in someone so young. She couldn't be more than 22. It occurred to her then that White Lotus was no ordinary prostitute, possibly a courtesan. In all likelihood, White Lotus was her professional name. Although curious, she did not think it polite to probe further. At the end of the day, it didn't matter.

"What do you think will happen to us?" White Lotus asked.

"We are not the first. I am sure we will be sold to the highest bidder. To be used and then to be cast aside when we are no longer useful." was the bitter reply.

"_Mei, mei_… you are too young to harbour so much cynicism."

"Am I? I wish someone would tell whatever god it is that runs this universe that I'm too young to cope with the life I've been given."

* * *

"So what happened to her?" 

"White Lotus? She made it to America. The rest of us all did."

"And?"

"And… the last I heard, she didn't survive America."


	8. Chapter 8

China Doll

Chapter 8

Ezra shifted restlessly in the bed, book in hand. Nathan had assured him earlier that he would make a complete recovery in no time. While he enjoyed the comforts of his feather bed and a good book, he was beginning to feel the boredom of being confined within those four walls.

He marveled that so much had happened in such a short time. The events of the past two weeks had surpassed even his expectations for mayhem and excitement. To be so close to death and live through it… Then it struck him, he wondered if anyone would have missed him if he hadn't made it. Apart from Mother, that is.

There was a knock on the door and then slowly, it creaked open. Ezra looked up from his book and watched a stooped figure walk in, carrying a wash basin, towel and bandages. Her shoulder length hair was in plaits and it made her look much more child-like. It enraged him that anyone would want to hurt something so fragile and so defenseless.

"How are you feeling today, Mr Ezra?" She said almost shyly, averting her eyes purposefully.

"Fine, my dear, just fine." He replied enthusiastically. "How are about you?"

"I am well. Thanks to you." She acknowledged and gave him a smile that made his heart skipped a beat.

His eyes followed her closely as she placed the items she had been carrying, on the bedside table. She took her place beside him on his bed and arranged everything meticulously. Engrossed, he watched her as she picked up the towel and dipped into the water. He watched her unfurl the bandages and organize them on her lap.

"Please sit up." She requested. Without waiting for his assent, she proceeded to lift his arms with surprising ease.

She then reached over and began unbuttoning his shirt. That took him completely by surprise and he reacted accordingly.

"What, may I ask, are you doing, Miss Lin?" He asked even though the answer was self-evident.

"Cleaning your wound and changing your bandages." was the matter-of-fact answer.

"Where's Nathan?" He demanded

"He's busy attending to other things so I offered. Don't worry, I know what to do. He gave me detailed instructions." She replied, reaching out for the basin.

"It's not your competence that I'm questioning. You don't have to do this, you know." He looked at her meaningfully and pushed down her hand.

She returned the look. "I know. But I want to. It's the least I can do."

With great efficiency and tenderness, she peeled the soiled bandages off… layer by layer… running her nimble fingers through fabric, taking care not to inflict more pain. When that was done, she dipped into the basin and pulled out the soaked towel, squeezing the water out of it.

She folded the towel and began gently wiping his back. A wonderful fragrance emanated from the towel.

"It's an old recipe of different herbs… from my grandmother… used to treat skin conditions." She remarked as if in response to the unasked question.

"It's lovely." Ezra commented, enjoying the scent and the warmth of the wet towel.

From the back, she worked towards the front, making gentle rubs against his skin with the towel. When that was done, she cleaned the wound and redressed it.

The sponge bath was invigorating. It felt good to be clean again. Cleanliness was next to godliness in the Ezra Standish school of thought. What was more, to have a woman wait on him in this manner… It had been too long. Far too long. He sighed deeply. Every touch and every rub from her hand gave him a frisson of pleasure. Michael Collins, his wealth aside, was a man to be envied. Such thoughts and more ruminated in his mind until he felt the throes of guilt bringing him back down to earth… reminding him that he was shamefully taking advantage of this woman's gratitude and goodwill. He promptly chided himself for his thoughtlessness and prurience. Instinctively, he winced and turned away from her.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" She asked, startled by his reaction.

"No, no, no… "

"You're not embarrassed, are you?"

Ezra shook his head. "Hardly."

"Then what's wrong?" She persisted.

"Nothing… " He said quietly, not daring to meet her eyes. "Nothing is wrong."

* * *

Sitting the edge of her bed, the man was looking at her in anticipation. He had a kind face and was making no demands… yet. He was watching and waiting… saying nothing… 

"My name is Michael." He had said to her but nothing else. He probably wasn't sure if she understood.

He had noticed her intelligent but sad eyes in the lobby. He was curious about her. She was different from all the others… not as pretty as some but she had an awareness of her environment in the way the others didn't. They were frightened, of course. But that impassive demeanour… she was sorrowful rather than fearful.

The minutes ticked by… she knew what she had to do… although every feeling revolted.

She walked up to him and removed his navy blue jacket. She noticed his silk vest, the fob watch hanging off it and a money clip holding onto a large bundle of notes. He grabbed her hand and shook his head.

"You don't have to do anything." He said to her.

"But I must… or the owner will get angry."

"You speak English?"

She nodded and stared at the floor.

He went towards her, lifted her chin and said to her, "So what is your name?"

* * *

Ezra had grown quiet. Strangely quiet. Only once or twice before had he felt this exposed or vulnerable. Clumsily and hurriedly, he put his shirt back on. 

"Are you sure that you're not embarrassed?" She was looking keenly at his demeanour.

"Of course not, my dear…"

"It's not my first time seeing a man without his shirt on, you know." She said matter-of-factly.

"So I gather…" Was the almost wistful response.

Lin was perturbed. Ezra's sudden aloofness was frustrating. She couldn't be sure that she hadn't done anything wrong. That look on his face told her that she had. Something in his attitude towards her had changed abruptly.

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, I'm fine. Really. I should get back to my book… it's high time I finished it."

"You sure you don't want me to stay and keep you company? Play a card game maybe?"

"You indulge in games of chance?" He asked astonished and not unimpressed.

"Not often but yes, poker, blackjack, dominoes and mahjong. I'm not very good but I know the rules. I worked in one of Michael's casinos as a singer… among other things. Michael thinks I'm observant though."

The mention of Michael caused Ezra to flinch. It reminded him again of where things stood.

"I'm sure you are." Ezra replied coolly, affecting nonchalance. Internally, he was a raging torrent of bitterness, heartache and jealousy. "Thanks for the offer, Miss Lin but I'm feeling somewhat tired. It might be best if I just rest now..

At that moment, she felt that a wall had come between them. Ezra had always been so kind and attentive towards her and now he was brushing her off like an old shoe. The worst thing was she didn't know why.

She recalled clearly the day he kissed her outside the church… the look on his face was etched firmly in her mind. But now, it was apparent that he was somehow displeased with her. She harboured deep regrets about that fateful night. It occurred to her that as a result of his knowing the truth about her, he was maintaining his distance. The irony of the situation was not lost on her… she had been the one holding back before but it was obvious now that his interest in her was fading fast.

She could feel herself tearing up so she gathered all the things she had brought as quickly as she could.

"Somehow I have offended you, Mr Ezra. Or perhaps it is my presence that offends you. I will take my leave now." She was visibly upset and headed towards the door.

With enormous difficulty, Ezra made some attempt to move towards her, to wave her down.

"Madame, you misunderstand me. It was not my attention to distress you. It's only that I don't want you to feel obligated to me."

"But I am obligated to you." She looking at him bewildered.

"It is not right for a gentleman to take advantage of a woman who feels indebted to him."

"You saved my life… more than once… and I wanted to do something in return. Is that so wrong?"

"I don't think you should have the wrong impression, Miss Lin. I was merely doing my duty. I am no heroic figure."

"So, were you just doing your duty when you kissed me?" She asked feelingly.

"Miss Lin… I… I was not myself…" For once in his life, Ezra was completely at a loss for words. _Damn, she had to go and bring that up._

An awkward silence reigned for some moments before she broke the trance.

"I understand, Mr Ezra, I understand completely. I am not the woman you thought I was. I was wrong not to have told you the truth about my past and gave you the wrong impression about me. For that I humbly apologize." Mastering her emotions, she spoke with an inscrutable calm.

"But now, I must leave before we both make things worse for ourselves." She bowed before running out the door

"Miss Lin, that's not what I meant…"

It was too late as she didn't wait to hear what Ezra else had to say and disappeared down the corridor.

"Smooth stud, real smooth." Buck appeared behind the door and commented sarcastically.

"What are you doing here, Mr Wilmington?" Ezra demanded.

"Came to pay you a little visit. And what happens, I get front seats to the theatre."

"How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough to tell you that for a man who's supposed to be quick talkin', you were trippin' your tongue over that one." Buck shook his head in mock despair. "You must really like her. That girl was throwing herself at you and all you talk about obligation. What's the matter with you?"

"She's not free, Buck, and indebtedness is no grounds for an equal relationship."

"Well, that's mighty high sounding. Since when did you become all noble and self-sacrificing?"

"I may be an opportunist, sir, but I am still a gentleman." Ezra declared indignantly.

Buck pulled a startled Ezra up by the scruff of the neck. "Alright, own up – who are you… What did you do with the real Ezra Standish?"

"This is serious, Buck." Ezra pleaded.

"You really like her, don't you?"

"More than life itself." Ezra said simply.

Buck scrutinized his fellow peacekeeper and recognized the sincerity in his face and manner.

"Whoah, you really mean that. So what's stopping you?" Buck quizzed.

Ezra was looking gloomy. "Haven't you kept up with the latest, Mr Wilmington? She has a wealthy patron… she is the concubine of one of the richest men in San Francisco or maybe California even. How would an ex-grifter compare?"

"I see what you mean but I don't think that alone would hold you back."

"Contrary to what my compatriots may think of me sometimes, I don't take advantage of women who feel obligated to me especially someone who has suffered through the torments of hell in the way that Lin has."

"This is a side of you that I have definitely never seen." Buck remarked thoughtfully.

"What's worse is that everything she says or does just makes it so much harder for me to stay away from her. In fact, she doesn't even need to do anything at all. Everything about her intrigues me."

"You definitely have it bad, stud."

"You have no idea. The closest thing I have come to the woman of my dreams… she sojourns from the other side of the world, she's standing right at my doorstep and I can't have her. Where is the justice in all this?"

"It's not all bad. It sounds like she has feelings for you too."

"Yeah, maybe… I don't know… It might be easier if she didn't have any feelings about this. She could walk away and no one else gets hurt."

"No one else but you." Buck reminded him.

"I'll live."

"Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that pard and you might actually believe it." Buck looked skeptical.

Ezra gave a sigh of resignation."Right now, she's at her most vulnerable. I just happened to be there at the right time and the right place. Hence, she is merely confusing gratitude with endearment. I am certain that when her Mr Collins gets here, it'll all be a distant of memory of some misadventure in some god-forsaken dustbowl."

"I wonder if she sees it that way." Buck mused.

* * *

"So Ning means 'serenity'?" 

"Yes, it does."

"Serenity, eh? I like that. It suits you. That's what I'll call you." He fondled her hair and she was surprised that she didn't find it repulsive.

"You know, Serenity… you don't belong here. With your abilities…"

"Right now, I'm just a slave. I do what I must." She said in a toneless voice.

"We'll see about that… But don't let's talk about that now. Do you play cards?"

"No. In Shanghai and onboard the boat I was on, I saw men play poker . But I learn quickly."

Pulling out a fresh deck from his vest pocket, Michael commented with a knowing smile, "Somehow… Miss Serenity… I don't have trouble believing that."

* * *

Sitting at the edge of her bed, she wept piteously. She had been so sure that he had feelings for her. Had she been so wrong about him? She never thought that he was the kind of man to toy with a woman's feelings. But he had been so kind… everything he did… was it just some kind of game with him? There had been nothing gained by coming to her aid… nothing at all and if anything… he almost got himself killed in the process. 

Thinking through things, she became more certain that it had to be her recent revelations concerning her past… that brought about this change of heart. It was becoming clearer to her that he was ashamed to be associated with a woman of her circumstances. That was the only explanation that made any sense to her.

She could still see his jade green eyes boring into hers on that fatefull night… that look of unmingled desire… the brush of his lips on hers. She grieved that she would never be able recapture that moment again except in her memory. He had wanted her then, she was convinced of it. If she could go back and replay that moment, there would be a dozen things she would do differently. But it was too late… she had lost him…

* * *

She had fallen asleep after the eighth round. He had pushed her hard but by the fourth round, she had grasped the fundamentals. As she herself had said, she was a quick study. He shook his head and thought about the suffering that one so young had been through. 

Michael Collins knew he was no saint. He was no reformer. His businessman's instincts told him that she would be good for business. In the short time he spent with her, he could tell that he had stumbled onto something unique. Of course, he was usually a good judge of character and he saw it from the first. That quiet intelligence hiding behind the sad mien was wasted in this environment. With the right training and the right incentives, she would go far. And he was the man to get her there.

* * *

Ezra was finding no solace in his book. He slammed it shut and allowed his head to fall back onto his pillow. Buck could be right… and he couldn't bear the thought that he would be the cause of further suffering in her already pitiable life. He had been a complete cad and his conscience was wreaking havoc. His intentions had been honourable but the execution had been less than stellar. 

He should offer an explanation, at least, for his seeming inconstancy.

* * *

She surpassed even his expectations. By the end of the third month, his Chinese clientele had tripled. He always believed they were an untapped market but there hadn't been anyone he trusted to make it work. He expected some initial fallout from some of the regular clients but he knew he provided the best services. Many of them would come back… they always did. 

It had been a long day today. The negotiations with the Tongs went for a lot longer than either of them had anticipated. Joint ownership of a gambling establishment in Chinatown was an incredible opportunity. It had been a drawn out process but her patience was the key and they somehow achieved the impossible.

She had gone to bed and he would soon join her. He looked forward to spending some private time with her.. All in all, Michael thought he was a lucky man to have the services of such an intelligent, respectful creature. Still, there was an aloofness about her which translated into her lovemaking. Their lovemaking was generally genial and she did what she was required to as part of her duties but it was not a case of _grande passion_.

Quite often, during the nights, as he drifted off to sleep after being with her, he would often wonder what kind of man would touch her heart. Whoever he was, he would be a most fortunate man, indeed.

* * *

There was a knock on her door. Startled out of her reverie, she wiped the tears from her face as quickly as she could. Regaining her composure, she got up, and went to open the door. 

It was the last person she was expecting to see but she motioned for him to come in. Ezra saw that she had been crying and felt his conscience severely reprimanding him.

"Miss Lin, I fear that I have caused you much pain. And for that I must offer my deepest apologies." He spoke gently.

She shook her head as if to deny any wrong doing on his part but said nothing. Noticing her silence, Ezra felt the need to fill in the gap.

"I don't wish to add to your troubles, my dear. You've had more than your fair share and what happened earlier was rather… uh… unfortunate. I want you to know that I… uh… appreciated the service that you… uh… rendered." He continued awkwardly.

Looking at her downcast face, he took the chair in the room and sat down next to her. He thought it best to continue bridging the silence.

"The other night," He began by way of explanation, "I fear that I allowed my emotions to overrule my judgment and presumed an intimacy between us where none existed. If I have given you a mistaken impression… about the nature of our relationship, then it behooves me to correct that…uh… impression."

Her continued silence made him increasingly nervous. _Why won't she say anything?_

"Where I come from, a man does not take advantage of a lady who is indebted to him… or one who is uh… already uh… spoken for. Although I acted out of ignorance, it was inexcusable for me to impose myself on you."

"So you don't want me?" Looking up at him sadly, she finally ventured a comment.

"It's not a matter of what I want, my dear lady…"

"So you do want me?"

Ezra sighed. "It's not that simple. And there's also the fact that I don't think Mr Collins would be too happy if I trespassed into his territory."

Lin had a forlorn, faraway look. "I have been a slave for so long that I've forgotten to ask myself what I want. No one has asked me what I want."

Taken aback by her words, Ezra asked feebly, "I'm sorry my dear… what do you want?"

"I want this…" She moved towards Ezra, bent over and caressed his lips with hers.

* * *

"Hey Mickey… have you seen today's papers?" 

"No time, Paddy… I've had to organize legal representation for Davey."

"There's a story in it about a Chinese girl who was kidnapped and shipped to America. Some brute tried to murder her and dump her body out in the desert. Sounds like someone we know?"

Snatching the paper from his manager's hand, Collins sat down to read the article.

After a while he looked up and commented thoughtfully. "It sure does… Paddy… it sure does."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 ( WARNING: Mild Adult Content Ahead )

She allowed her lips to linger on his before finally releasing. It was exactly as she remembered it. She searched his eyes and despite all his protestations, she could still see the same look of desire in his eyes. She stood and stared, mesmerized by its power. This time he reached over and met her lips with the full force of his passion. Unlike the last time, he did not hold back and gave over completely to the emotions that he had long suppressed. He buried his face in her nape and his lips found refuge there for some moments. She responded by surrendering herself wholly to his embraces and fingered the buttons on his shirt.

"Are you sure you want this?" He whispered huskily into her ear.

"Yes."

" I have nothing to offer but my charms and good looks."

"A tempting offer." She smiled contentedly. "Very tempting. But where is the man who hides behind the charms and good looks? It's him I want."

He wanted her too, so desperately. She never looked lovelier than in her desire for him. Her black locks falling over her face, her lips ready to meet his. It shook him to the core that after all the missteps and hesitations, she did want him.

He took her by the hand and drew her closer to himself. Bending over, he started to undo her buttons and then stopped.

"I… can't do this…" He looked absolutely stricken.

"Why not?"

"I would be no different to the other men." He stated awkwardly.

She seemed to understand. "You're nothing like the other men." She reassured him

"I would be exploiting you for my own pleasure."

"If you care nothing for me except for what you can get, then yes, you would be. The question is… do you care?"

"Do you have to ask?" That look of unmingled adoration returned and he met her lips fervently as if to prove his worth.

She was reveling in his kisses, his touch and allowed them to consume her. She could feel his impassioned desire directing his movements, searching for ways to make her body sing and in sheer ecstasy she gave in to its raw energy. With those other men, she had been a passive bystander but here her entire being was ready to return in kind.

They were two lonely souls wandering from different ends of the earth coming together, completely vulnerable to one another, and finding in each other an unlikely refuge. For a brief moment at least, they would find respite from all their recent troubles.

* * *

The weather outside was especially sultry. Three of the seven were sitting outside the jailhouse sweltering in the heat. 

"I thought Lincoln freed the slaves. Why's this kind of thing allowed to happen?" cried the angry young man among them.

"Money, JD… it makes men do almost anything. And nothing sells faster and more often than sex." Buck declared sagely.

"Besides, it's a big country… it's hard to track these racketeers. Government's got bigger fish to fry." Chris added.

"Than protecting young girls from being kidnapped and used as sex slaves?" JD questioned incredulously.

"Young girls from a foreign country. They slip through the cracks. If nobody knows, nobody cares. Also it's all a matter of priorities. These girls ain't one of them when there's bigger problems… "

"So what'll we do?"

"I've wired the Judge and David Collins' brother to let them know what's been happening. I haven't told Collins about the girl yet though.

"I'm sure Ezra will appreciate that." Buck smirked.

"I'm not thinkin' about Ezra. Truth is, I don't trust this Michael Collins. A man of his position, not know what's going on… I find that hard to believe." Chris said thoughtfully.

"You think he's involved in this kidnapping ring?" Buck questioned.

"Well, if he's not directly involved, he could be an accessory. Whatever it is, he could be trouble. I'm not taking any chances."

"You think he's going to come in here, all guns blazing…?"

"A man like that won't probably gets his own hands dirty… he's a businessman…"

"Yeah, a businessman that kidnaps defenceless girls…" noted an indignant JD.

"Well, we don't know that for certain yet but I have my suspicions." Chris said judiciously. "Just make sure we keep quiet about the girl."

"Too late. It won't be long before he'll find out though." They were joined by the town's healer. "Look at what made front page on Mary's paper."

The three men huddled behind Nathan and read Mary's entire interview with Lin with no specific mention of names or locations.

"That'll surely bring 'em out." Buck commented.

"Better tell Ezra to keep a close eye on her." Chris warned.

"Oh, don't worry… I'm sure he's on the job… if you get my meaning." Buck gave them all a knowing look.

All four men broke into grins, followed by raucous laughter.

* * *

Ezra didn't know how much time had passed since he entered the room. He had left his watch in his room and his companion had drifted off into a deep sleep. He himself, however, found sleep elusive. His mind was full, marveling that his errand had turned into an encounter of a different kind. He wondered if he had been too quick to succumb, too ready to rush in and play the courtly lover. He did not regret the physical charms of his entrancing lover, just his own eagerness to involve himself emotionally. This was no passing fancy and that worried him. He was involved hook, line, sinker. 

He sank down further under the sheets and turned to his side to try to get some sleep. This caused his companion to stir.

"Did I fall asleep?" She asked sleepily and turned around to face him.

"Yes, you did."

"Haven't slept much lately… ." She flashed him a smile, groped around for her clothing and got up to get dressed.

He noticed the welts on her back and traced his fingers over them. "How did you get these?"

"I tried to run away once. It was my punishment." She said calmly.

"Punishment?" He looked appalled.

"And no food for two days. I was close to death but in the end, I was more of use to them alive than dead." She was gazing at him serenely. "There were times I wanted them to kill me though."

He stared at her slender frame and fair complexion with all their reminders of brutality, astounded that life had not embittered her. It grieved him that anyone would want to harm this bewitching creature.

"I cannot even begin to imagine what you must have gone through." He said sadly.

"There is a Chinese proverb that goes like this: 'A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.' Suffering has opened my eyes to many things, brought me half way round the world and to you… my protector."

Her simple confidence in him made him uneasy. Guilty almost.

"Lin, your confidence in me might be somewhat misplaced."

"Misplaced?" She looked puzzled.

"The clothes don't make a man, you know." He tried to explain.

"Oh, I know." She grinned mischievously.

Ignoring the implications of her remark, he turned to her with a serious tone of voice.

"What I'm trying to say is… I'm not the man you think I am."

"Just what kind of a man are you?" She searched his eyes

"I'm not… a hero." He averted his eyes, struggling to find the words.

She was bewildered. "But you saved my life at the risk of your own."

"Well, that… I don't think you should attribute any romantic significance to it. Fortunately for you, I happened to be at the right place at the right time."

"You followed me." She reminded him. "Are you saying that what you did was not important?"

"No… well, yes… perhaps…" His voice faltered.

"Why are you so afraid to believe that you are a good man?" She took his hand and tried to make eye contact while he was trying to avoid it.

"I'm not the kind of person that people trust. Hell, even my friends think I can't be trusted. Around here I'm known as something of an opportunist. To be honest, I don't know if I trust myself either." He had a sad, faraway look.

"But they must trust you with their lives?"

"I suppose… they must… We've been in more gunfights together than I care to remember." Ezra relented.

"Ezra Standish, you're a strange man. Are you trying to make me believe that you are a bad person?" She seemed amused.

"Well, I just don't want you to be… disappointed."

"'Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one.' Disappointed? I watched my mother die from grief. I've been kidnapped, sold as a slave and left to die in the desert. Disappointment is not something I worry about.

"I'm sorry…"

"I may be many things, Ezra Standish… but I am not a child… I haven't been one for a very long time."

"My dear, I am truly sorry, I didn't mean to suggest that you are without… judgment." He said contritely/

"I know you didn't." She said gently stroking his cheek.

"But it's been a long time since a woman cared enough..."

"So it seems…" She leaned over and caught him lightly on the lips.

* * *

In the dead of night, two strangers broke into the Chinese laundry with the greatest of ease. One of the men picked the lock expertly and gently pushed the door open. They took care not to awaken anyone. Earlier in the day they had patronized the services of this establishment and giving themselves an opportunity to familiarize themselves with the layout. They were satisfied that the location was well-hidden from the main street and unlikely to attract immediate attention if a commotion ensued. 

They made their way noiselessly towards the proprietor's bedroom. No one else was around. The little Chinese man was in his bed, sound asleep, snoring.

Clapping his hand on his unsuspecting victim's shoulder, the burly member of this raid jerked him around and gripped him by the throat, growling:

"Not a word or you're a dead man. You understand?"

The terrified laundry owner nodded. It was dark and he couldn't see hide or hair of his attacker. Their voices were real though. He understood quickly that these men were not part of some nightmare but had definite and deadly intentions.

He found himself dragged out of his bed and was held at knife point against the wall.

The laundry owner whimpered. "Please don't kill me. I have money." He begged.

"We don't want your filthy money. We want some information" The large man hissed.

"Information?" The laundry owner was quaking.

"The Chinese girl… where is she?"

"There are no Chinese girls in this town." He said in a pathetic tone of voice.

"Don't lie to us, you filthy yellow dog or I will slit your throat. We know she's here." He growled menacingly. The hulking thug tightened his grip and pressed the blade further into the Chinese man's throat.

"Don't kill me. I will tell you." He was gasping for air. "She stay at the boarding house."

"Where is this boarding house?" The brutish man demanded.

The laundry owner promptly gave them directions and his attacker released his grip on him and threw him back onto the bed. His victim groaned in agony.

"If you're lyin' to us, we'll be back and I'll cut you up piece by piece until I get what I want out of you."

"And remember…" The second intruder spoke up for the first time. "Tell no one that you've seen us."

The owner nodded his head vigorously, cowering in his bed. Fearful though he was, he could hear the two men whispering.

"How can we sure he won't talk? Maybe we should kill him anyway."

"No need. We'll just tie him up and gag him. By the time some one finds him, we'll be long gone."

* * *

"What brings you here, Mr Wilmington? Checking up on me, are we?" 

"Just looking in to see if everything's alright, Ezra…"

"Why the sudden concern?" Ezra asked suspiciously.

"Well you know, we haven't seen much of you lately…" Buck noted slyly.

"I've been recuperating…" Was the quick rejoinder.

"I'd say you have… you're looking mighty chipper and satisfied. Nothing like a good woman to brighten up your day and _nights_." Buck made sure he emphasized the last word.

"You're wasting your time. A gentleman doesn't tell, Mr Wilmington." Ezra retorted indignantly.

"You don't have to, stud. It's written all over your face."

"It's that obvious, eh?" asked Ezra, a little annoyed.

"Uh huh…" Buck gave a smirk which was met by Ezra's scowl.

"Have you just come here to taunt me or is there actually something important you need to say to me?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk… No need to get all hot under the collar, stud." In a more serious tone, he added, "Chris thinks things are cookin' to happen soon."

"Trouble on the horizon?"

"Only the best kind, pard."

* * *

The door creaked open. The silhouette of two men entering the room gradually took shape on the left wall. They took a little time to survey the room before making their move. The smaller of the two approached the bed, pulled out his .44 and bore it down the occupant's head. 

"Miss, there is someone who wants to see you. We don't want trouble. Just come quietly with us and there won't be."


End file.
